Life On Mars Confirmed!

Originally posted on Frontier Science Report:

April 28, 2014

An organism resembling an arthropod has been conclusively identified in one of the photos taken of the surface of Mars by NASA’s Curiosity rover. NASA and the Smithsonian Institute jointly created a program using something similar to the technology for face recognition software to scan thousands of photos from the rover for the most probable kinds of life forms: insects. Biologists determined that a form of insect would be the most likely organism hardy and adaptable enough to survive the harsh climate and elements of Mars. NASA commissioned the Smithsonian to provide high resolution images of all the major classifications of arthropods, they were entered into the program’s databanks, and then the program scanned for anything resembling any of them. Initially there were no positive matches. Not willing to give up so soon, they created a further complex filter to account for camouflage, and ran the program again. This time it turned up just one result out of all the photos taken. That image was confirmed by leading biologists as unquestionably some form of arthropod, and because it was discovered in a dried out lake bed, possibly even a crustacean. The creature has been affectionately nicknamed, “The Martian Crab”.

Biologist Stanley A. Wiever believes the creature was not only alive, but active. Because of the large size of its one visible eye, and that it appears to be trying to hide from the rover, which is quite a distance away, Wiever believes the creature is highly tuned to its own environment, and extremely aware of trespassers. This may be the reason only one of these creatures has been spotted.

As for the possible intelligence of the Martian Crab, Wiever and his colleagues could only guess and were reluctant to offer any strong opinion. I asked for a show of hands, and inquired whether or not the experts thought it might be smarter than a chicken. All their hands went up.

NASA is now revising the rover’s mission priorities from searching for minerals to looking for life. As the team of biologists assured us at Frontier Science, the Martian Crab has got to be eating something, and unless it is at the top of the food chain, something else is eating it as well.

Because of the magnitude of this discovery, which is of supreme national interest, we were warned NOT to publish an article until we were specifically given permission. We decided to publish it anyway, but to change the name of the biologist to protect his identity.

~ Darren Chadley for Frontier Science Report Online: breakthrough science by and for scientists.

NOTE: THE ORIGINAL SOURCE FOR THE ARTICLE I REBLOGGED HAS DISAPPEARED. I’VE HEARD, BUT CAN’T CONFIRM, THAT THE STORY WAS “TOO HOT” AND GOVERNMENT AGENTS SHUT DOWN FRONTIER SCIENCE REPORT FOR LEAKING THE STORY.