Here is a sampling of my followers on wordpress.com. There are many more like this. In fact, I have over 400 followers, 90% of which I can be confident are bogus. They are just businesses or individuals spamming to get people to visit their blogs. It’s all just a little depressing. I deserve better than this, except for the Imodium, which I happen to have used within the last two weeks. In reality my blog is reaching hardly anyone. Below are screenshots I converted to Jpegs and cropped for your viewing pleasure.
Duk Linh Mobile Phones of Vietnam just like the personal feel of my blog. They’re all about my occasional anecdotes.
Vietnamese acetylene tanks love me cuz my art is so fiery hot.
And I mean ALL Vietnamese Acetylene tanks love me!
Mannugal Sehat “health massage” and “body scrub” are on the edge of their seat for my next political commentaries.
Falcon Upholstery is all over my blog, because my shit is plush!
Imodium follows me in case I have diarrhea! OK, their url is immodiumabuser, so, it must be a joke, but I still don’t think they are really following me (otherwise they would find themselves in this post and tell me they aren’t another bogus follower.
Thinks I’m a bell end, but follows me just to take the piss.
Half-way to 666, “333 Acre” likes me because they think I’m half-witted enough to use their services.
Vedic Astrology predicts my “Year of Art” is going to turn out fabulously. Thank you Vedic Astrology.
Pondoknangrinta sells property somewhere in the world, and, well, I live somewhere in the world, so we are like all symbiotic and ying and yang ‘n shit. Plus I like her name, and that counts for something.
Bisofficiallan follows me, yes they do. What do you get if you cross an elephant and a rhino? Eliphino. Eliphino why they follow me or what the hell they are about.
Book Hub, Inc. follows me because they want to help me find God through Jehovah, which spelled backwards is “Havohej”, though that appears to have no significance, intrinsic or otherwise.
“Your Erotic Nights” follows me, but I don’t want them to follow me too closely because of their whole proclivity for “wet humping”.
The secret of “How to be liked by everyone” is the same as “How to be found out by enterprising businesses and followed by them on WordPress.com”. They are pilfering answers from me, the bastards.
Oh yeah! I’m goin’ ta Oman, business class. And they knew it at “Cheap Airfare”.
“Glo Spa by Gigi” loves my skin. They just LOVE it because it’s smooth as a baby’s bottom.
The “121 Sports Clinic in Surrey” follows me because they will catch me if I fall, lick and then bandage my wounds (unless I get kicked in the nads or something along those lines). Uh, that only applies in Surrey though, and, they must know something I don’t because I have no plans of going to Surrey.
Zirconia Philippines follows me because I live in Thailand, which is also tropical, and, well, they accurately surmised that I am in possession of teeth. Might need one pulled. Might end up in the Philippines. You never know with fate.
Dermatologist’s Garden doesn’t want me to have acne. But if I get it they encourage me to stab it with the sharp end of a piece of aloe vera.
Cuz I live in Thailand. Hey, I can read what it says under “Promotion”. It reads, “samrap luuk ka tuk taan”. My best guess at a translation would be, “for customers every time.”
If you like this, click on the “like” button or even “share” this shit, so I know this didn’t just go out into the cyber ether via over 300 bogus “followers”.
Here’s a gallery of my 20 most fabulous followers. Click on any image to go into the gallery.