I am J. Sri Bhagovwid (you can call me JSB). Today a man got very angry with me during our dialogue. He stormed off and nearly got bit by our resident macaque, who felt threatened. Here is the dialogue we had.

Dialogue with a questioner this morning, transcribed from recording:

Questioner: Your rhetoric is fine. I suppose you’ve read all the books. You’ve studied your Bhagavad Gita, and the Upanishads. Every Hindu knows as much as you. Anyone can study the scriptures. But have you even realized?!

JSB: Yes, yes, just a moment ago. Why do you ask?

Questioner: What?! Just a moment ago? Why are you waving your hand like that?

JSB: What was your question again, one more time?

Questioner: Why are you waving your hand like that?

JSB: No, the question before that? I have trouble following your accent.


JSB: Oh, I thought you said “released”.

Questioner: You know what? You’re an asshole. And a phony. @#$%^ you!

JSB: (calling after the guest as he stormed off) Be careful of the monkey. She bites. Also don’t forget your free samosa.

The macaque monkey at the Bhagovwid ashram can be aggressive if you don’t give her your free samosa.

Another questioner at the ashram: What do you think will happen to him?

JSB: The samosa will give him gas, and when he releases, he will realize. But it will not be a full realization. For that he needed to eat the Chole [chickpea curry].

A free samosa for every guest. If you come you’d better take one, because, as a consequence of an unforeseen development, we’ve come to call them “monkey ransom treats”. You can check out anytime, but if you want to leave the ashram without rabies, you’d better feed the macaque.

3 replies on “Questioner tells off J. Sri Bhagovwid

  1. I wasn’t exactly kidding about the Mahafahrtism.

    It’s a parody religion I came up with in India, primarily to respond to all of the fake-ologists (Hinglish word) and their followers who kept laying their ‘wisdom’ on me but partly to get across some of my own ideas in a peurile, humorous way.

    It got to be pretty well developed in the end – as much as some New Age systems I’ve seen anyway – and comes with a biography of my path to True Flatulence that is only slightly fictionalised.

    I know, JSB, that the Pungent Ones warn that the masses are not ready to receive the Odour of Enlightenment, but nonetheless you have sorely tempted me to release at least some of the Lesser Scents onto my blog.


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